Midnight cookie raid
by TolkienkookAD
Summary: Aaaah...I had fun with this one. Light Deitobi. Crack fic. Some swearing


TKAD sez…Ah, the first line of this came to me in the middle of state science exams. (needless to say, I think I failed) During breaks it just kept building and building off of itself, so I decided to write it down. La, Deitobi is wonderful. Except this isn't really a deitobi fic. Its more…CRACK. Crackcrackcrack. La, Crack is wonderful too.

And without further ado…

**Cookies**

Midnight in the Akatsuki lair. The household creaked and groaned with regular late night noises. Or, Tobi supposed, very early morning noises.

Completely irrevelant, though. For Tobi was on a mission. An intensly important one, too. for Deidara was craving cookies. And Deidara's cravings were not to be underestimated.

Just 30 minutes before, Tobi's exasperatingly adorable boyfriend had poked him roughly awake and stated that he needed cookies. But not just normal chocolate cookies, no, Deidara needed double chocolate cinnamon cookies with just a dash of coconut. Which coincedentaly, were the leader's favourite kind. And part of his secret snack stash of evil. It was certainly a 'Well, shit.' Moment.

Tobi sighed. Heads were going to roll in the morning when the Leader realized someone had raided his personal stash. Of course, that was preferable to Tobi's head rolling if he got back to the room without cookies.

One may ask, at this point, _why_ Tobi was being such a pushover. Perhaps, though, you may not understand the POWER of Deidara's cravings. Especially when it comes to food. Cookies, Macaroni and Cheese, and pretzels were his chosen foods. But only specific kinds of each. And it changed. Every time. Tobi suspected he was just being difficult. He certainly wouldn't put it past Deidara to do so.

But suprising as it may seem, Tobi was the stealthier of the two, and so went off to find cookies lest Deidara get caught in the act.

Quietly…quietly Tobi opened the door to the Leader's quarters. He tiptoed in carefully, leaving the door open a crack to have an escape route, and stood a moment to let his eyes adjust to the darkness.

"Aw, SHIT." Tobi accidently said out loud. Now, he knew some people had bizarre fetishes, but this was going a bit far. A box of double chocolate cinnamon cookies with just a dash of coconut was encircled lovingly in the Leader's arms. Marvelous. Just wonderful. Thinking quickly, Tobi grabbed a decently sized book off the shelf (Titled "Torture, Maimage, and Cookies.") and snuck to the leader's bed. Slowly he eased the box out of his hands, and pushed the book into his arms, praying he hadn't disturbed the Leader.

He grumbled loudly and unintelligently, and rolled over, fingers running over the book as if they KNEW it wasn't his cookies. Tobi took that as his que to get the fuck out, and the next moment he was slipping down the hallway in his socks, listening for the slightest sound that would tell him the Leader was out for blood.

Tobi shut himself into the nearest room and braced the door, panting for breath. Once his breathing let up a bit, he realized that he was not, in fact, in a supply closet, but Itachi and Kisame's room. A figure disentangled itself from the two formed and moved menacingly towards Tobi. Itachi's cold voice rang out around the room, sending chills of fear down the back of the newest Akatsuki member. "Now, who on earth would be in my room in the middle of the night?"

Tobi broke for it, dashing madly and clinging to the box of cookies (Double chocolate cinnamon cookies with just a dash of coconut, to be exact) as he made his way to his and Deidara's room. He could hear Itachi take slow, menacing steps behind him, stalking Tobi as a cat stalks its prey. He turned a corner and promptly smacked straight into Hidan, who seemed to be coming back from washing up after a particularly bloody ritual. Jashin doesn't wait, you know.

For a moment they just stared, dumbfounded, as they both took in each others bizarre appearances. Tobi was out of breath and disheveled, wearing plaid pants combined with loud rainbow socks, and Hidan looked like a victim out of a horror movie, streaked with blood and sweat, plodding barefoot down the halls of the Akatsuki.

"Is that you, Tobi?" Itachi's voice sounded from down the corrider, very close by. Tobi squeaked audibly and fled down the hall, still clutching the cookies and leaving a very confused Hidan behind.

2 Hours later, and after and encounter with Zetsu, Kakuzu, Kisame, and an indistinct white blot that looked vaguely like Sasori, Tobi arrived at the door to his and Deidara's room, panting. He opened the door tiredly and walked inside, switching on the dim lamp on Deidara's desk.

Tobi was astounded.

Deidara was asleep.

Curled into the warm spot on Tobi's bed.

At least he now knew the reasons for Deidara's odd cravings.


End file.
